His pubic hair was longer than his dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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