I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
