I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i out mim tonsoeep
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
