She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
