You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
