i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
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