hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
