Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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