have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
