so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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