You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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