OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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