I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You smell like stripper and shame
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
