Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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