his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
