So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
