So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
