Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
