...so i touched it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
