Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
