Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
