holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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