mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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