my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
