he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
