Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
