the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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