Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
