You made me cry and you don't even care
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
