Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
