i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
whose parrot is this?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
