i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
