Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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