drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
