I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
