I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
