the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
