What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
