The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
