never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
