ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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