When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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