All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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