A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
