My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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