Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
