the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
