No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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