Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
