i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
