mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
